Children and sudden pet loss

When pet loss is sudden for a child 

Losing a pet suddenly through either a peaceful passing or due to a traumatic incident can be very distressing for the whole family.

Supporting children with sudden pet loss can make a difference to how pet caring and loss is perceived by them in the future.

Our hospice team at Dignipets has a lot of experience and resources to help you support your child with pet loss that is sudden. 

For children, the loss can be especially heart-breaking as the joy of growing up with their beloved friend becomes a sadness that can be hard to reconcile, especially if it’s their first experience of death and bereavement. 

How you deal with this and help them deal with the powerful emotions it brings on is especially important, and it can help them deal with not only the death of a pet but how to cope with loss throughout their life.  

Offering support to them while they grieve can be difficult, so we’ve put together the following list of ideas to help you and other family members come to terms with this difficult experience.   

Communicate the loss as soon as possible.

It is important for your children to hear this news from you. It might be extremely difficult to discuss it with your child the loss of a family pet, but it’s vital they hear the news from someone they trust and can offer immediate support. 

Choose a quiet and familiar area for the conversation with no distractions if possible.

 It is best to ensure you have time set aside as your child may want to ask questions. Some children may repeat the same questions and may need extra time. 

Regardless of child age, they might not have a real understanding of death and so questions might be difficult to answer.

Take time with them and let them come to terms with their loss in their own way. 

It is always best to focus on the facts.

Gentle honesty is best in these instances. It is important to answer their questions, but not to include any distressing details. You are there to provide information and support. 

Try to keep your language simple and easy to understand.

Using phrases like “he fell into a special sleep and is now in heaven” could make a child scared that they could go to heaven each time they go to sleep. It is better to say that their pet has died. Be honest with them and explain the concept of death in ways they will understand. 

With sudden, unexpected death your child will obviously feel shocked, and may also experience fear and disbelief.

It’s hard enough to cope with pet loss when due to illness, but if it is a shock, it can be especially traumatic. Supporting bereaved children at this time should take priority. 

It is good as a family to openly discuss your feelings to your child.

This may encourage them to share their feelings but will also help them to know that it is OK to feel sad and to cry at this time. 

Allow your child to express as much grief as they are experiencing and respond to these emotions with comfort and reassurance.

Their reaction may be more intense to sudden unexpected death, so be prepared for that. 

Your child may go through a rollercoaster of emotions, and this is a natural part of the grieving process. Follow their lead. 

Sadly, it is impossible to shelter children from pet loss, however, as a family, everyone can come together to mourn, grieve and cope. You might be surprised at how well bereaved children and young people can deal with these issues. 

Allowing children to create a memorial box, or to draw pictures can help them during the grieving process. Please read our blog about literature available for children and pet loss. 

Support is there don’t go through it all on your own

If you feel that you need more support in helping your family to reach out; support is out there. The Blue Cross Pet Bereavement Support Line is open for children as well as adults, and there are other counselling services out there too.

For further insights please read our blog about what one of our local pet bereavement counsellors says about kids and pet bereavement. 

Our Dignipets Pet Loss support Network is there for every pet carer to show each other support and to inform everyone of Pet memorial walks near you. Walking in memory of can also be a lovely thing to do in memory of together with your child.